


How Did You Imagine Our Future Together?

by Cruel_Irony



Series: Tumblr Promts [2]
Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, If only this was canon, M/M, Murder Husbands, Prison, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 11:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17079854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cruel_Irony/pseuds/Cruel_Irony
Summary: For Tumblr prompt, No 32 "How did you imagine our future together?"A canon divergence fic, set when James is in prison for Kyle's "murder". Harry realises his true feelings much sooner and shares them with James.





	How Did You Imagine Our Future Together?

It’s almost too easy for Harry to slip away from Ste and the kids. One banal excuse and a chaste kiss on the cheek later and Harry is on the bus heading to Longmere prison. The routine, having to hand in his phone and jacket and anything else he had brought with him, is familiar. The novelty wore off long ago and all he wants now is to get past the gate and see James. It’s been too long since he last saw his face; he’d kiss him if he weren’t too self-conscious about the guards standing around the room.

Harry feels the burdens of the past week fall away when James enters the room, trailing behind the other inmates. A smile brightens James’ face and Harry’s heart skips a beat. He gets up from the uncomfortable plastic chair and wraps his arms around the other man, pulling him as close he can. There is no doubt in Harry’s mind that, after all of these visits, he bis more in love with James than he is with Ste. When he is with James he never wants to leave, but when he is back home all he wants to be is back here, in prison, with James. With great reluctance, he lets go and they take their seats. He can’t tear his eyes away from James.

“I enjoyed your letter,” James begins, “though I don’t know why you sent it. Not when we have other ways of communicating.” Harry blushes at the pleased glint in James’ eye. His tiny MI5 phone was appreciated then, he had worried a little about James’ reaction to him breaking a law.

“I can only visit every so often, and I wouldn’t want to risk our other channels being found out and destroyed. Besides who doesn’t like a nice handwritten letter.” Harry preens under James’ attentions. He reaches across the table to snatch up James’ hands before he can second guess himself. They may have letters and phone calls (authorised and unauthorised) but he can’t touch James everyday. The need to feel James’ pulse under his fingers, to press their palms together and feel his warmth is a fierce craving he struggles to fight. Thankfully, James doesn’t pull away; in fact, he squeezes just as tightly.

“The anagrams were a nice touch.”

“I’m glad you liked them.”

“So, how’s Dee Dee’s treatment going? I can’t imagine what your family must be going through.”

“It’d be better if my dad hadn’t gone AWOL. Dee Dee’s memory isn’t great, and she forgets who people are sometimes, but we’re still running out of reason why he’s not by her side. It’s really not good. There’s no guarantee anything is going to work. Everything’s depressing at the moment.”

“Wedding planning might help lighten the mood, a little bit of happiness. Might be what Dee Dee and Diane need to distract them from their troubles.” Harry can practically see the bitterness rolling off James in waves. He finds himself echoing the sentiment.

“I know I’m a glutton for self-sacrifice and all, and I would love to be able to make my family happy right now, but I don’t want to get married.”

James chokes on thin air. “What?” He stares at Harry as if he had grown a second head. “Why? You’ve been with Ste through thick and thin, why break it off now when things might finally be alright between you?”

“For many reasons. Because while I’ve stood by him, he has never done the same. I supported him when we were homeless, when he was addicted to drugs, when he went to prison. I could’ve left him when I found out that he used to abuse Amy, when I found that he cheated on me, I could’ve abandoned him when I found out that he has HIV because it was too much for me to handle. Not to mention his blackouts. Other people would’ve cut and run years ago. But he doesn’t show me the same courtesy. What did he do when I was in prison? He shacked up with Ryan. When I cheat I am a monster, but he can get away with it. I don’t know why I keep going back to him.”

James blinks through Harry’s tirade, neither confirming nor denying his accusations, though they both know it all to be true. “So why now? Why not leave him when you got out of prison and I offered to let you move in? You said it yourself, neither he nor the rest of your family ever came to visit or picked up your calls.”

“I know. And I’m sorry about that. It’s just… he keeps going on about wedding plans and the future. And the more he talks about guest lists and decorations and food, the more I realise that we are not compatible. For one there is literally no way to organise a wedding that suits both of us, even if we compromise - which he most definitely won’t. I don’t love Ste anymore. I’ll always care about him; he was my first boyfriend, we’ve been together for years, but I don’t love him anymore. I’ve grown out of our relationship.”

“That’s quite the epiphany you’ve had, Harry.”

“You’re telling me. I’m not a closeted seventeen year old anymore; I’m an adult whose slept with more men than is probably wise.”

Neither of them speak for a while. Harry stares at their linked fingers, wondering what life could be like if he was with James instead, if he could hold his hand in public.

“What would it be like?” Harry looks up suddenly, frowning at James. “Your wedding. If you could have it your way, what would it be like?”

“It’d be classy and sophisticated. No over the top decorations, everything would be understated but not boring. Maybe some posh hotel somewhere in the countryside. It’d be a small ceremony with only close friends and family. Traditional vows, maybe something more personal in private. I also wouldn’t serve food that you can’t pronounce - the menu would be things I know people eat and would like. And not a small portion in sight.”

“And the groom?”

“Not Ste.” They share a small smile. The wedding he just described does not fit Ste at all. Just imagining him, with his newly dyed hair and appalling taste in clothes, walking up the aisle of a classy hotel is enough to break the tension between them.

“If not Ste then who?”

“You.” Harry feels a burst of confidence. There’s no one here to rat him out to his family; it’s just the two of them in their own little world. And he never has and never will have to fear James’ reaction. For God’s sake, Harry is responsible for Ryan’s death and the man is still on his side. “I love you. I don’t care what anyone says, you are the man for me. You don’t shame me for my bad side. When I’m with you I don’t think about how I’m going to punish myself next. I can be myself with you, and you can do the same with me. I love you, and all of your messed up flaws.”

James stares at him in awe, a tear in his eye. “I love you too, Harry. Even when I was with Kyle, even John Paul, you were a part of me. I held an affection for you that with all of these visits and phone calls and letters, has blossomed into love. But, I’m in prison, Harry. For murder. I hurt Kyle when I was with him and I killed him.”

“I’m more of a murderer than you are. You’re innocent, I know you are. I’ll find a way to prove it, I promise. And then afterwards, when you’re free… maybe we can go on a proper date. You know we’ve never actually been on one. We can start planning a future?”

James smiles. “How did you imagine our future together?”

“I don’t know. Just lots of love and understanding and nights in.”

“I think we can do better than that. I’ve found a better use for my lazy hours in here - planning the best first date ever.”

“You’ll be out of here soon. I’ll find something, and I’ll sort things out with my family. The second you are out of here, I’m going to kiss you silly.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Time!” The guards call, and Harry wastes no time in engulfing James is a crushing hug goodbye. He presses his face into the crook of James’ neck, feeling closer to home pressed up against James than he ever has before.

“We’ll talk soon, yeah?”

“Of course. I truly can’t wait to get out of here, to be with you.”

Harry cricks his neck straining to keep James in sight until the last possible moment as he files out of the room, his fluorescent vest blending in with the others. When he himself is ushered out by a prison guard, he turns his attention back to home. He has some urgent errands to run.


End file.
